Changes: Good vs. Bad

Well most of you really have no clue as to who I am and are clueless as to why I blog and why I am so avid with this blog. It has been my avid dream to have my own website, business, and do good in life doing what I love to do. That is why this and Creative Ellusions has been a huge project to me after graduation. Well my love for computers has to start way before graduation and probably even began while I was in middle school. All because my father found it the only thing that brought us close and because it was something that interested me to the point that if I continued to ask questions, he'd answer and I'd make him proud. Which was why after a while I kept telling myself that I was going to go to college for a degree that had to deal with messing with computers.

Well graduation (Sunday, June 3, 2007) was coming quicker and quicker. I knew with the way I acted in High School that I probably wouldn't get a free ride to college on a scholarship for sports and good academics, all because I hardly applied myself my freshman year and had a hard time barely getting back on the good in the academics my Sophomore year. But I made the best with the $500 scholarship that I had received for College just days before my graduation ceremony. Graduation came and I was the proud that I had finally reached my goal of just graduating High School.

Well a couple days after graduating from High School, my mom had me fill out an application at a job she was working at that I just so happen to get a job offer from the day I turned 18 and 10 days later started. I started working at this place on August 1, 2007 and by August 15th I was enrolled into College and had college classes started by August 31st. Things were changing good for me. I had a full time job, was going to school part-time, still single and not letting things get in the way. That's when I meet Zac [my first fiance].

Don't get me wrong I did love Zac the whole time I was in a relationship with him. But I do have to admit that I was blind the whole time I was with him and he was using me for the money. I do have to admit though he was really supportive over me and did have a heart for me but once he realized that my dreams were coming true and that I was happy, he used that to his advantage. He got phones out of me, love, sex, everything that he could imagine. Don't get me wrong with my good choices I was trying to get him to get his life back on track and it was working to a degree. Worked all the way until we moved to Toledo together, he stopped taking my medicine and saw that he was starting to ruin me.

Mind you by this point I had quit my full-time job and was officially jobless [for an enitre month], broke, and starting to worry whether I could go back to College for a second year. I did however earn 6 college credits when I was with Zac. So when I moved back to my parents after he dumped for me trying to make my dreams come true while trying to make a life with a man that I was engaged too. I ended up getting my job back at McDonald's, and then that's when I hook up with a good friend from church, Scott.

Scott was the second guy that I got serious with since graduation. He's the second fiance that I thought was going to a good guy. Shortly after hooking up with Scott I got hired into Kroger were I had a new start at a new job that I was hoping would get me far in life. I was also starting to figure out whether I could try to get back into college. A month after hooking up, Scott and I are layin in bed and he proposes. Out of the blue he just looks at me and says, "Will you marry me?" I [dumblying] say yes. Well about a week or two after Scott proposes and its made as a more official engagement on this one as the last one I start seeing the true colors of Scott. So I break up with Scott.

Now I am single again, working part-time at Kroger, and no idea on how to get back to College. I about gave up on all my dreams and figured I'd just be a part-time cashier living at my parents working on minimum wage trying to earn my way up the damn totem pole. Well then one night Chris's mom [yes his mom] is checking out and starts talking to me. Tells me that Chris is single, that she thinks he may be interested in me and that I should give him a call. So we start talking and that's when things start getting better for me!

Chris [was] that finally brought me back to realizing who I was and what I wanted to do. He made me realize that things were gonna change if I started pushing myself to believe in myself. So that's when I told myself that if he was going to stand by me in all my decisions that he may even keep finding out that I am my own person. That's when I got a better job at Meijer's and was working on getting back into college. Then things started getting worse and then we split up for a couple months.

During our split I go from part-time to full-time at Meijer and was on the midnight shift [making some good money again]. But I was starting to hang out with someone who was gonna take me down with her if I didn't change. My family was noticing, Chris started noticing [only because about a month after we split we started talking and hanging out again], and they were gonna put a stop to it. So I dumped a friend that I thought was going to be a great friend the rest of my life only because I found out something that hurt me...the person was starting to treat the guy I loved [Chris] with the utmost disrespect and was texting him to come over when I wasn't there. Thankfully Chris didn't like her [that's gonna stop that].

We finally get to Febuary 2010 and Chris asks me to stay the night at the new house [he moved to Dundee] and that's when we hook back up. Things start getting back on track, and I'm happy. I start doing more thing that I find I like. I couldn't be anymore happier!! I apply for the Pell grant and continued to be showered by Chris's love. I get a new car, new phone, new friends, and a new lookout on life. But then things started going downhill. I hear rumors that my relationship with Chris is in the ruts, that he may leave me and I fight and think things are getting better...

June comes and we prepare for my brother's graduation. A tornado swipes through Dundee June 6, 2010 at 2:17a. F2, 130-135 mph winds, 800 yards wide and pretty much covers the whole 13.5 miles of Dundee that it could. Dundee is devistated, my brothers graduation party was rained on but a success yet we find out that they canceled graduation because of the tornado. Then he graduates and as things for me and my family get better, things for Chris and I start getting worse. I glance at his phone and finds out that he may be breaking up with me again, I start feeling distant, yet he had no idea.

Today I find out that we need to come up with gas money so we can take my car to Detroit so that Chris can get to court. So he decides that he is gonna go scrapping to get the gas money. Since it was for my car I figured I'd tag along, well he stops me and I come to my parents. While at my parents I log into my college e-mail and college account and find out that I am awarded $8,325 to get back into College. Then I made a decision that I am leaving Chris because I am feeling distant. So I am back to were I can see my future and this is on GOOD CHANGE that has me happier than ever.

So as of today I am back to being a college student working on bettering myself and I couldn't be any more happier. Yes I wish I could have been able to keep Chris in my dreams but I think I'll find the right guy out there while getting my dream reached. So with this change in my life, more GOOD CHANGES are coming not only to me in life but to my dreams, this site, and my goals.

I am happy I got to share this with you and I'm glad that you listened!


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